1) Be Patient
With girls, (especially hormonal teen girls), patience is essential to avoiding arguments and frustration. For me personally, as I was growing up, all I ever wanted was approval. I never wanted to disappoint and all I ever sought out (and still strive for) is to have someone be proud of me. Although I was not the best at certain things the first time around, (ex:learning not to back talk, remembering to take out the trash, and math...even though that never really improved), I have always been determined to be the best I can at whatever I am applying myself too, and while that may not happen the first time around, girls will always know when they are in the wrong, or when they have disrespected their mother. Whether it is at age 14, or 18, they will come around.
2) Don't Mold Her, Let Her Mold Herself
The worst thing a mother, and parent in general can do is try and make their child into the set image they have of them. It is important to remember that every child, girl, and human has different interests and hobbies. Your daughter may not want to be a pee-wee cheerleader, she may not wear the dresses you adored in middle school, and she may not be like every other little girl in her class, but that's okay. As a mother, I think you have to trust that you instilled good morals, qualities, and manners in your child, and with your teachings, she will mold herself into her own unique individual.
3) Be Blunt
There is only one person in my life that calls me out on my stubbornness, and that is my mom. For as long as I can remember she has been painfully honest about my wardrobe choices, sass, and athletic performance. Nothing says momma like "I'll wait here while you change" as she lets me know we are not leaving that house until I wear something she favors more than a ragged t-shirt and Nike shorts. While she may have spoken her mind a little too harshly a time or two, I wouldn't trade her honesty for anything; because at the end of the day, I know she always has my best interest at heart.
4) Always Show Her Love
My mom is the best at knowing all three of her daughters likes, interests, and styles. Every school backpack, and Easter basket she got for us was always tailored to our individual personalities. I can't tell you the amount of times I came home to nail polish or a Target clearance shirt on my bed with my momma yelling down the hall: "I saw this and thought of you." Although she didn't have to do that, she chose to do it as a simple gesture to show me she loves me. Most times, it doesn't take much. Sometimes its was a Red Box movie she knew I wanted to see, or other times it was a Sunday afternoon spent at the mall. It's important to spend individualized time with each and every child, and show your kids your love for them.
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| A good relationship filled with trust and respect is essential for any mother and daughter. |
5) Respect The Goals She Has
From talking about going to college out of state, moving back to Austin after college, and even talk of raising my kids in Germany for a couple of years, my mother has always respected my goals and plans I have for the future. Although it may have been hard to let her first daughter go 4 states away to college, she knew the vastness of the opportunity God was presenting to me. She never once complained about me not being with her, or her missing me too much; my mom wanted me to spread my wings and experience the world for myself, (maybe it was because she knows I'm coming back to Texas as soon as I graduate college,) but for whatever reason, I am truly grateful for her supporting my ambitions.
6) Establish Trust
When I say my mom is my best friend, I truly mean that. My mother knows everything. Literally, everything. In fact, she knows so much about my life, and my friends lives that she probably wishes she didn't know everything she knows...but, nevertheless, I know that anything I tell her, whether its about a boy I like, or about my friends, she never judges. She simply listens, and presents her honest opinion. I know that I can come to her with any kind of issue I encounter in life and she will give me better advice than any book or talk show host could.
7) Know That One Day It Will Be Worth It
Although I am not a mother, I hope my mom would agree with me when I say it will all be worth it someday. All the tears, attitude, left dishes in the dishwater, tantrums over clothes, and drama will be worth it when your daughter moves away to college and realizes everything you sacrificed for her, and all the small things she misses like good home cooked meals, laughs, and movie nights.
I'll be the first to admit that girls are not the easiest to handle, but the bond between a mother and daughter (if its anything like the one I share with my momma) is something you should cherish. I just hope one day I am half the selfless, fun-loving, stubborn, amazing, beautiful mother and wife my mom is.
