Many times, lust is identified as purely sexual satisfaction and need, which in context of The Bible is accurate, but if we look deeper into the meaning of the word, we will see that in essence lust is selfish. Lust is not just merely wanting of the flesh, it is the fulfilling of personal needs and desires: whether it be related to money, cars, or sex, lust is only self centered. Lust is disrespect, detachment, and a lack of self control, all unfavorable characteristics in God's eyes.
Love is the exact opposite, love is:patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (-1 Corinthians 13:4-8). True love encompasses everything God taught us, which is providing, caring, and nurturing the other persons needs before our own selfish (and perhaps sinful) desires. When you love someone, you want to be with them, no matter what the cost.
Personally, I think lust does not require intimacy, but love does. Not to confuse sex with intimacy, intimacy is the setting aside of selfishness, intimacy is opening up to one another, and being at our most vulnerable state, which is why it is so much easier for many people to lust rather than love. When we are intimate with one another, we discus feelings, goals, past experiences, and opinions. Lust doesn't encompass any of that, lust is merely temporary satisfaction.
When we are patient, and exhibit self-control (a fruit of the spirit God intended us to have), we can get to know a person for who they truly are, accept them for it, and learn about the kind of person they want to eventually be, we are demonstrating love as God intended us too.
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| As Christians, it is important to know the difference between love and lust, and to always choose to love. |
Although I have not had a lot of experience with men in my 18 years of life, I have had the opportunity to witness a beautiful marriage between my parents, and I think its safe to say that universally, when you love someone you can:
1) Laugh Your Obnoxious Laugh With Them
Its an everyday occurrence in my house hold to hear mom and dad cracking jokes with each and laughing like two teenagers at a football game. The two of them are so comfortable with each other that its not uncommon to see mom wiping tears from the sides of her eyes from laughing so much. The "awkward" barriers were broken down long ago, and those two couldn't be more comfortable with each other.
2) Be Willing To Accept Them At Their Worst, As Well As Their Best
From high school, to their wedding day, giving birth to three children, dealing with the loss of her mom, and beaming with joy at her children, my Dad has seen my mom through out many stages in her life, and he chooses to love her and view her as the same beautiful woman he met 20 years ago, not just when shes at her best, or its convenient for him.
3) Compromise
I can't tell you the amount of times my mom sat through a Longhorn game on the TV, or the countless times dad suffered through a trip to Justice or Ulta. Love is all about putting the others needs before your own. When you love someone, and especially when you have children with someone, it is not all about you, its about compromise.
4) Be Open In All Aspects
Being comfortable about saying what upsets you, what you like, and dislike is a sign of love. Opening up to a significant other about opinions, thoughts, and views on various things in life is getting past the selfish desires of love. Along with being open to one another, you must also be willing to take into consideration what the other is saying, and even be willing to change the way you interact with them.
If you ever find yourself trying to decided whether you or a friend is truly in love, ask yourself: "What is his/her/my attitude towards this person? Is it selflessness or selfishness?" "Am I/Are They willing to keep going and persevering when times get tough?" "Do I/Do They want to invest in this person or only have temporary pleasure?" "Do I/Do They want to grow with this person, experience things with them, learn from them, and grow in God's love with them?" The answers to these questions will help you to see whether it is evident that you or another you know is always falling in love or simply falling in lust.
