My faith was acquired through a methodical routine of attending worship, praying at meals, and connecting with others through the expression of similar beliefs. I was born into a Christian home where my parents believed that Sunday was a day set aside to attend church as a family, you always thank God for your blessings, and helping others was a suitable way to honor God.
In some regards, you could say my belief in Christ came as an expectation due to the firm foundation of faith instilled in my family. My grandmother was raised by a minister, and my grandfather attended college to pursue a degree in religious studies and served as a youth minister for a period of his life. My grandparents sought to dedicate all aspects of their lives to God. They regularly went to church growing up, met at a church camp when they were teenagers, attended Bethany Nazarene College in Bethany, Oklahoma together, and even continued their involvement in the church when they became parents, so naturally my grandparents instilled the word and presence of God into their three children’s lives; one of whom was my father.
Although I do not have a particularly defining moment in which I completely understood Jesus for myself, I do know his presence was always around me from a very young age. Being raised in the Methodist church, I was baptized as an infant; which by John Wesley’s standards serves the purpose of: “cleansing of the guilt of original sin, initiating into a covenant with God, being admitted into the Church, becoming an heir of the divine kingdom, and being spiritually born anew.” (By Water and the Spirt: A United Methodist Understanding of Baptism). I was given my first Bible at the age of one, attended a private Christian school from the ages of three to five where in my early developmental stages began to memorize The Lords Prayer, certain Bible verses and Children’s Chapel songs. I verbally accepted Jesus Christ as my savior through what Methodists call a “Proclamation of Faith” at the age of eleven immediately following my confirmation, but yet I still find myself learning more about my God each and every day.
The Methodist Church is a very methodical system of tradition, customs, and practices; hence the root word of “method” in the name Methodist. Although there are certain things that United Methodist Churches do collectively, such as praying the Apostles Creed as a congregation, having acolytes come down the aisle at every service, and using a certain structure of prayer for the worship service, I believe that the church as a whole does not have a certain set of beliefs that everyone must abide by; in fact, The United Methodist churches slogan is “Open Mind, Open Hearts, Open Doors”. With that being said, I was not raised in a church or household where such strong convictions passed down from the history of the churches denomination were present, my parents abided and referenced the ten commandments, but were not literal Christians; this made it somewhat difficult for me to be secure in my own convictions regarding sometimes debatable views in the Christian Faith. For example, Methodists do not have a universal standpoint on drinking, abortion, or homosexuality, it varies from person to person, so as I matured, I had to formulate my own stand point or view on social issues and sometimes even Biblical instruction.
Growing up, I had a lot of teaching moments from my parents- my Dad especially. I was always learning how to keep myself safe, be aware of my surroundings, or do things more efficiently when it came to yard work or cleaning; but teaching moments referring to the Bible when it came to what encompasses an obedient child, good disciple of Christ, or a woman of God were not always emphasized through the quotation of scripture. The teaching of faith in my developmental years was the simplest form of teaching-prayers before bedtime where we thanked God for our blessings, and asked him to watch over those we love, and having a servant heart towards others were the earliest foundations of my faith. While I always knew I wanted to be a Christian from the influence of those around me, it wasn’t until I was much older that I began to comprehend the magnitude of what encompasses being a Christian.
My senior year of high school, when I was extremely anxious and stressed out about my college decision, I recall opening my bible just to read for the first time and actually began to let the words from the pages imprint themselves in my mind. Like any other Christian, I was familiar with John 3:16 and all of the common verses from an early age, but did not become familiar with some of the corner stone verses for a Christian until I began to read the words myself.
Following my graduation, as I moved twelve hours away from my beloved Texas, everything I was familiar with, and embarked on a new journey as I started my freshman year of college, I found myself being even more drawn to the comforting and informative words of the Bible. I began to read about the kind of person Jesus is as his traits of love, forgiveness, obedience, grace, and mercy were demonstrated to people of all walks of life. I learned through verses such as Isaiah 41:10 that God has the answer to every question, anxiety, and worry. I finally found some peace within myself when it came to my uncontrollable stress and desire for perfection over tests, volleyball games, and uncertainty of the future; something I have struggled with since the age of about twelve.
Although I have been blessed to have the presence of the Lord in my life from a very young age, I am constantly seeking ways to become the teammate, student, friend, daughter, sister, woman, and some day wife and mother that God has intended me to be. I am always inquisitive about the way I should go about things in a godly way, how I can better be receptive to his words and teachings, and I often confide in my grandpa to help answer any questions I may have as I continue my never ending walk of faith.
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| Isaiah 41:10-A great verse for children, teens, and even adults. |
Sometimes I wish I would have had the opportunity to have my parents help me memorize verses, associate their teachings, or rules with the rules and law of the Lord so that I would have been more confident in my understanding of Christianity as a child and teenager. I wish I would have had the intelligence at a much earlier age to understand the sometimes complex words and lessons of The Bible, but I pray that God would continue to work through me in order to mold me into the person he has planned for me to be, but I am forever grateful for the traits I witnessed in those that helped raise me that also helped play into the person I am today.
Often times I wonder if I am being the best Christian I can. Whether it be through my verbal and non verbal responses to those I love, actions to those I know and those I don’t know, or my lack of service to the citizens of my community, or the citizens of various Nations across the world. I have not been over seas to do mission work for those in need, or those who do not know Jesus. I have not discipled a non believer and converted them to live for Christ, I have not done my best to point to God in all that I do, and I know I fall short of the glory of God everyday.
One thing I can say I am confident in is my belief in God, his creation of the earth, his position to award salvation to those seeking it, and his endless love for all of his people. I am confident in the miracles he can perform and the transformations he is capable of. I am confident that I love him with my whole heart and look to him whenever I am weary, sad, or fearful. I am confident in his listening skills when I seek him through prayer, and I am confident in his plans for me. I am confident that he will return to earth again with his angels and bestow judgment on those who refuse to obey him. I am confident that he has purchased our freedom with his blood and promises eternal life for those who profess a belief in him; and because of that, I am truly blessed.
